Lying takes away the other personÕs choices. It makes the liar have total control over the other person. Additionally, an insecure victim will be confused by their desire to trust the liar and that causes self-blame for not knowing better. Liars are the worst kind of people.
An outright lie when you just blatantly lie.
White lies are lies that you tell someone when they ask you a question you donÕt want to answer because you know the answer will hurt their feelings. An example of a white lie is when someone asks you if their butt looks big in those jeans and you answer no so you wonÕt hurt their feelings. White lies are still lies. Plus, adding letting them go out looking bad is just as bad as lying! The appropriate response to this question is to use distraction to suggest they wear something else. Saying something like, ÒWell, you COULD wear that outfit which looks great on you instead.Ó And if the person really does have a big butt, they already know it, so telling them a white lie just lets them know that you are a liar. It doesnÕt really help their self-esteem at all, then also, they are going to wear the jeans all night!
Gray area lying is lying with truth mixed into it. An example of gray area lying is when someone asks you to do something, like read a letter for them, and you do look it over, but you donÕt really read it to the extent of being able to honestly discuss it in detail, and you say, yes, but then you canÕt even say anything about it to help them, which is useless to them. The appropriate two choices of what to actually do in this instance would be to actually read it and help them or to say, ÒI looked it over and nothing seemed to jump out at me about it.Ó
Omission lying is when someone leaves out details, such as to change another personÕs perception of the reality of the situation. An example of omission lying is when your boyfriend goes out with the boys and hangs out with and flirts with other girls and then he tells you there werenÕt any other girls hanging out with them on their boys night out. In fact, there were girls and they did talk to the girls and flirt with the girls, but he ÒcanÕtÓ tell you that because you will get mad, so he twists the wording to make it sound better to you so you wonÕt get upset. Obviously you know he is lying, but you want to trust him, and you donÕt want to fight either, so you drop it, but you still wonder what the truth really is, and eventually something bad will come of the omission lying, especially if it happens a lot and/or if he really is a cheater. The appropriate way to handle this situation is to be honest with your partner about what really happened and discuss it so that the two of you are a team on the same page, not working against each other.